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- - Concept : Tell your Poop Tale.
- - If your story isn't published on our website, don't feel offended, and thank you!
The other day I begged a man at 7-11 to use his "not open to the public" restroom. While at first resistant, the man was ultimately compelled by the logic that there was a very good chance I would poop my pants in his store. It was disgusting and messy and they were out of soap.
I once took a lunch break from work to eat a tasty burrito across the street. I pretty much knew immediately after consumption that I was in for some trouble. The stomach began growling, gas began flowing, sweat began flowing... there was no way I was dumping this poop in a public toilet. Thus with complete disregard for work, I decided I must walk home. The walk was one mile in the humid 100 Boston summer. Half running, half walking really fast and holding my butt, I finally made it to my building and ran up the four flights of stairs. Drenched in sweat and barely getting my belt undone in time, I collapsed on the toilet and let go a diarrhea explosion of epic proportion... so worth the walk home.
I was on a camp out known as Treck, when along the way we made a stop. Being in the wilderness for three days already, I had not taken a dump yet. So I walked out further away from the trail to find a good place and found a nice big brush for cover. I pulled down my pants and did my business when I suddenly felt a tickle on my legs. I looked down to find i was standing on a giant red ant hill and there were hundreds crawling up my pants and legs, all the way up. In panic I decide to run away from the spot (while still pooping and getting bit by giant red ants). Once I was safely away, I shook free of most visible ants and finish my business. During the next couple hours of trecking, I could still feel ants bite my legs and butt at random. Since then, I've always looked twice at where i poop.
On vacation with my family in Washington DC, we decided to take a drive out into the countryside. Our journey started with a quick stop at McDonalds where I grabbed a delicious sausage, egg and cheese McMuffin. Later in the day I noticed a rumblin in my tummy. Pretty soon I was emitting toxic gas and the sweat started to pour down my face. This poop was coming out whether I liked it or not. I yelled to pull over ASAP and sure enough, the nearest stop was another McDonalds. I ran in, barely in time, and let it fly. After I had to lay on the grass for a moment to recover. That McMuffin started and ended in McDonalds.